So tonight while my brother, my boyfriend and I sat on our deck awaiting the iridescent flash of silver and deep purple light to outline the clouds, my uncle stumbled outside, a cold beer at hand. I always like to hear him tell me stories because each time I hear therm there is something different, something that changes, yet the story always retain its wholeness.
I asked him to tell me the story about Jubb, pronounced jubh- letting the ubh linger on your tongue for a moment before coming to a complete stop. I have heard this man’s (Jubb) story for quiet sometime but I never get tired of listening to it again and again.
So the story goes like this.
I’ll start with the facts, Jubb worked in a funeral home. He was an alcoholic. Now those two things probably shouldn’t be placed together but I must admit there is common sense in dealing with dead bodies while you are sky fucking high.
Jubb’s mother was a wealthy woman her name was Betty BlackPudding (obviously it wasn’t however Guyanese people have a tendency of incorporating your trade into your name) Jubb was her only son.
The funeral parlor that he worked at belong to a man name Merryman, thus the name Merryman Funeral Parlor. Merryman worked at the funeral home as well.
When someone died if their family was wealthy they would ship or pay to have an expensively made coffin prepared for their beloved. What most people didnt know was that Jubb, a fairly filthy man whose job was the wash and prepare the dead, actually slept in the coffins at night.
One night Jubb was all tucked into his clean pristine coffin. He probably had a few shots and relaxed. It just so happens that the lights within the funeral parlor knocked out. Jubb was totally unaware of this. Merryman went to go fix the lights. He called out looking for Jubb and walked into the parlor.
Jubb being in a drunken stupor popped out of the coffin looking like the living dead. Merryman became scared shitless and took off running. Jubb hopped out of the coffin chasing after Merryman screaming “Merryman wait!”
To which Merryman replied “fuck you” while screaming and running down the road.
Jubb it seems enjoyed the taste of burning liquor and a nice clean bed. It is almost sad that and ironic that he ended up dying within one of those very same coffins. However it was not his to claim. His body was rolled out and he was given a cheaply made box.
I suppose he slept within enough nicely made coffins while alive. In death he sleeps within a nailed up box. Maybe he knew that one day he would not be able to do so while dead so he made sure he napped in the nicest ones alive.